The 12 Year Old

I never want my children to mess up and think “my parents are going to kill me”, I want their first reaction to be “I need to call my mom and dad”
Because I always think “my parents are going to kill me”

I know what it’s like to have parents and not being able to tell them everything,

I know what it’s like to be a 12 year old child when you start to realise that you have to fight with the world for your identity and then realising that you have to start the fight from your home only,

I know what it’s like to be a 12 year old child, and when you tell your mom that we should improve this mother-daughter relationship and getting to hear all sorts of bad things,

I know what it’s like to be a 12 year old and your mother commenting that I’m wearing kajal to school for attracting boys,

I know what it’s like to be told by my mother that it’s wrong to talk to my cousin elder brother, and girls like me should get raped coz this is what we deserve just because we go around boys,

I know what it’s like to be told by my mother that if I’m not wearing a bra at home (that was solely because I was not comfortable by wearing a bra that day), that I was trying to seduce my younger cousin brother,

I know what it’s like to hear nasty and character insulting comments from the men on the roads and then hearing them from your mom also,

I know what it’s like to hear your mom saying that if a girl gets raped, she should die in front of other women, and those women were also agreeing to that.

As a 12 year old, this is pretty disturbing. I don’t fear getting raped anymore. I really don’t. I’m just afraid what my mother would do to me if i would be alive after that, would she pray that I die?

I really have no idea.

(Anonymous)

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